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(Erwin x Reader) This ugly yet beautiful world P4

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Authors Note: This part contains spoilers from Shingeki no kyojin Ilse no techou (Ilse's notebook) If you haven't seen it yet, you can see it here :) 


Two years later (year 850)


The sound of the bells resonates through your body. You take a deep breath, clenching Dancers reins. “Gates open in 30 seconds! All hands, prepare to leave!” The Commander’s strong voice declares from the head of the formation. Your heart is beating with painful force in your chest. I never seem to get used to this, you think to yourself, nervously adjusting your position in the saddle.

Ahhh! This is tantalizing!” Hanji suddenly complains from the row of soldiers in front of you. Corporal Levi lets out a barely audible sigh. You sigh as well. You both know what’s coming next. “Hey, Levi!” The squad leader turns in her saddle to face the young man. “No,” he interrupts her, keeping his grey eyes fixed forward. You can’t help but let a wry grin creep upon your face by his bluntness. Sitting on that gigantic, dark grey horse of his, he looks even smaller than usual.

“I haven’t said anything yet,” Hanji argues, her shoulders slumping forward in disappointment. 
“Help me capture a titan, right? I don’t intend to help you with such a hassle,” Levi says, still not looking at the brunette. She blinks a couple of times, before turning to Mike instead. That’s a lost cause, Squad leader.  “How about you Mike? Want to give it a go?” She asks eagerly. He simply turns away with a scoff.

He’s even worse than Erwin when it comes to talking, you think, slightly amused. But then Hanji turns around in her saddle, facing you, her eyes gleaming manically. “What about you, (First Name)?” She asks, her glasses reflecting the sun in that creepy way you hate so much. “It really isn’t up to me, Hanji. You’ll have to ask Commander Erwin,” you answer sternly. Her face immediately drops and she turns around with a sour sigh. “As always, boring answers from boring people,” she declares overbearingly.
“Well, I’d much rather be boring than dead,” you point out.
“That’s very pessimistic of you (First Name),” Hanji replies.
“She’s right though. She would probably die,” Levi comments.

“Hey, wait a second-“ you begin, but are cut off by the gate of Wall Rose opening with a roar that shakes the earth underneath you. “We will now begin the 49th expedition beyond the Walls!” Erwin announces in that booming voice of his. You ready yourself, shortening Dancer’s reins and taking a deep breath. “Forward!” And with that, the Survey Corps charges ahead, the sound of hooves thundering through the quiet morning air.

You’ve always thought that galloping like this, the wind blowing through your hair and making tears form in your eyes, must be a little taste of freedom. Being surrounded by the wings of freedom only enforces that feeling. If only the titans could go bother someone else, you would really enjoy these expeditions. I mean, the weather is quite nice and the landscape as well, rolling hills as long as the eye can see, topped with the occasional tree…

Suddenly, Hanji breaks out of the line, driving her horse forward into a sprint. “Yahoooo!” She howls, zooming past the Commander. “Squad leader! That’s dangerous!” You yell, watching her fluttering wings of freedom disappear down the hill. Not that she can hear you… Dang, you really have to learn to react faster. Not that she would listen even if she actually could hear you… Ah well… “Tch, that four eyed idiot,” Levi mutters beside you.

“Hanji!” Erwin shouts after her. Ah… she’s crazy… You think, shaking your head. She’s also more than able to take care of herself. You sigh. That doesn’t stop me from worrying though… or the Commander for that matter. This is far from the first time Hanji has decided to run off to play house with the titans. If you know Commander Erwin right, he is probably itching to gallop after the crazy woman and yell at her until his voice rips. Unfortunately, as the leader of this expedition, he can’t leave the head of the formation. You’re surprised he hasn’t grown any grey hair yet. I suspect he just might after this though…

“Commander? Want me to go after her?” You raise your voice to ask him. Being in her squad kind of makes it feel like your responsibility. Man, can’t wait to see what the future holds for me… Lots of running and hair pulling, I suspect…

Erwin turns his head towards you. “Hanji can handle herself. I don’t want to endanger anyone else because of her idiocy,” he says, his face the same mask of calm as always. Doesn’t fool you though. “But…” You want to argue, but shut your mouth instead. The Commander’s word is absolute. Also, you can’t help but remember an event quite similar to this one.

“Hanji!” Commander Erwin seizes the brunette by her collar. You have never seen him this angry before, his blue eyes blazing like fire, his hands clenched so hard that they’ve become white. It’s really frightening and does nothing to calm down your already rampaging heart. “I’ve had enough of your stupid ideas! Tell me, is this a game to you!?” He yells, shaking her. Your squad leader seems as stunned as you are, not that the Commander is really giving her any chance to speak anyway.

“Tell me! IS IT!? Is all this just a big, fucking JOKE TO YOU!? Are the titans more important than your own SQUAD!? TELL ME! I don’t get it! Do you have sympathy for them!? IS THAT IT!? DO YOU FEEL SYMPATHY FOR THE MONSTERS THAT EAT MY MEN AND LAUGH!? LAUGH WHILE THEY SCREAM, WHILE THEY DIE!? THEY SURE SEE US AS SOME KIND OF GAME, TELL ME, DO YOU!?” He shakes her so hard that her glasses fall of, landing on the grassy plains beneath you.

You finally find your voice: “Commander! If you keep doing that she might lose consciousness!” And that’s the last thing you need out here in titan territory. He freezes at your words, his blue eyes moving from Hanji to you. They skid up and down your body, over the bloody arm you’re clutching to your chest and the numerous bruises on your face. He lets the Squad leader go and she doubles over, coughing violently.

In less than the blink of an eye, the Commander is at your side, crouching down to look you in the eyes. “Are you okay?” He asks reaching forward and placing his hands on your shoulders. His grip is firm and warm and manages to instantly calm down your wildly beating heart. “I’m… okay,” you answer, trying to collect your thoughts. Then something suddenly occurs to you. “The rest of my squad?” You ask, worriedly looking around. You can spot Hans propped up against a tree and Marika kneeling in front of him. They seem to be arguing about something. Moblit and Eric is helping Hanji to her feet… “They’re okay,” Erwin assures you, gently stroking a stray lock of your (h/c) hair behind your ear. That soft, soothing expression on his face is one that you’ll never forget…

That was a crazy day. Which expedition was it again? The 39th? Or before that? You can’t really remember. You do remember Hanji ordering her squad, your squad, to help catch a titan. And you do remember almost getting killed while trying to rescue one of your squad mates. But the one thing you remember the clearest, is Erwin rescuing all of you and then giving Hanji an earful it’s doubtful she’d ever gotten before. Also, how worried he was about you… How he insisted on examining your broken arm… His touch, so light and careful…

“Oy! What’s with that creepy smile?” The cold voice pierces through your thoughts like a dagger. You blink, meeting the grey eyes of the Lance Corporal. “Am I suddenly not allowed to smile?” You ask with a scoff.
“You look like that four-eyed idiot,” he replies.
“Do not,”
“Do to,”
“Do not,”
“Do to,”
“Do not,”
“I am not playing this game with you…”
“Aw, you know you love it,” you reply with a grin.
“Tch,” he averts his sharp, grey eyes and directs his gaze forward once again. You chuckle lightly to yourself. Corporal Levi is actually surprisingly easy to tease, if you know which buttons to press.

                                                                            ***

The two hours it takes for the Survey Corps to reach the town you’re setting up the supply base in, feels like two years. Suddenly getting ambushed by a large group of titans resulted in over ten casualties and even more injuries. You really wish you could say that you’re not used to this. But you are. And you know it could be much worse.

Finally reaching the town is a relief though. The buildings give The Survey Corps an advantage, albeit small. After taking care of the horses and having a quick discussion with the scouts, you head over to Petra, kneeling outside the Commander’s tent and patiently replenishing the gas in her squad’s 3D maneuver gear.  

“You haven’t by any chance seen my Squad Leader, have you?” You ask, looking around.  You’re pretty sure she’s terrorizing someone about wanting to capture a titan alive. “She’s in the Commander’s tent, making a fuss as usual,” Auruo answers, gesticulating to the entrance of the tent behind him. Man, you hate being right all the time… You let out a sigh. “She wants permission to capture a titan, right?” You ask, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Petra nods, “they have been discussing for quite a while now… or, actually, Hanji’s doing most of the talking so…”
“It’s not a discussion as much as it is a speech,” Auruo cuts in.
“Ah… damn… then it’s not long before the shouting begins…” you mutter. Like on cue, Hanji’s voice rings through the air. 
“Hold on a second, Erwin!”

Bam!

Oh my God, I hope that was not the sound of her hitting the Commander with something heavy… Judging by Petra’s nervous expression and Auruo’s amused one, they’re probably thinking the same. “I understand that setting up supply bases takes priority, but uncovering the true nature of the Titans has always been the Survey Corps’ primary objective! I’m sure you’re aware of that as well!” You hear your Squad leader saying, her voice indignant.

Ah… Should I go in there? Maybe I should just stay out of the discussion for once… You are so tired of being the peace meddler between Hanji and Erwin. “Um… Squad leader… Speaking like that to the Commander probably isn’t-“ You can hear a voice, Moblit’s, stuttering. “Shut up!” Hanji interrupts. “In order to do that, we must capture a titan alive! I know it seems impossible. After all, the last time we succeeded in a capture was 15 years ago, and over 20 men gave their lives in order to make it happen. But if we’re afraid of making sacrifices, we’ll never acquire information!” The brunette shouts the last sentence.

“Ah, poor Moblit. She’s quite a handful, isn’t she? Shouldn’t you charge in and rescue him soon, (First Name)?” Auruo asks you with a grin. Petra scowls at him. “She’s done now. The only thing remaining is Erwin’s curt and final rejection and then he will probably walk out of there, with Hanji on his heels. And then I’ll stop her or trip her or something…” you answer, crossing your arms over your chest, staring at the opening to the tent. “Alright, focus on the rear,” Erwin’s calm voice suddenly reaches your ears. He’s not talking to Hanji, that much is clear. “Understood,” one of his advisors walks out of the tent, giving you a curt nod before hurrying down towards the supply wagons. Auruo looks at you. “Wait for it,” you say.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” The Commander says, irritation coloring his voice. Yes, indeed… You think to yourself. Even though you do agree with Hanji on the fact that you need to capture a titan sooner or later, you don’t think her approach is all that clever. “We can’t spare any soldiers for a capture operation. We’ve already lost over ten men today, just to reach this point,”
“I know that, but-“
“Hanji,” Here it comes… The Commander has that tone again, that: there’s no use arguing with me tone. “I won’t allow it.” And with that, Erwin walks out of the tent, followed by Pere, his other advisor. “H-hey!” Hanji yells after him. He looks over his shoulder briefly, a steely expression on his face. You meet his gaze, an apologetic smile on your lips. His expression softens a bit, before he directs his gaze forward once again. Then Hanji comes stumbling out of the tent, nearly smashing into you.

“Wait! Erwin!” She shouts, not even giving you a second glance.
“Hanji!” You say, forcing her to turn around and look at you. Her whole attitude screams defeat. You’re about to give her an earful when Auruo interrupts you, a smug smile on his face. “It’s no use, Hanji-san,” he says overbearingly. You all eye him suspiciously. You never know what might come out of Auruo’s mouth. “We put our lives on the line just to kill the damn things. There’s no way we can take one ali-“ the last word is cut off by Hanji grabbing his collar with both hands, lifting him off the ground. She’s wearing that mad scientist expression again. “Let’s say, Auruo…” She begins, her voice dangerously low.

“Squad leader! Let him go at once!” You say, raising your voice. She ignores you.
“Let’s say Levi is trying to kill you. Seriously trying. What will you do? Can you fight and win?” She asks. Auruo is making some choking sounds that don’t sound good at all.
“Of course not! More importantly, I can’t breathe…” he manages to force out, sweat pouring down his forehead. “Want me to tell you how you can win?” Hanji continues, her voice becoming more and more urgent.

“Hanji! Do you want to kill him!?” You demand to know, searching for something heavy that you might hit her in the head with. “You study him. Everything from the food he hates, his taste in women, the number of times he goes to the bathroom… You find out every little detail about him! Once you’ve done that, you will find some kind of weakness to exploit. If you don’t do that before you fight, you will definitely be killed!”

“Hanji!” Petra exclaims, getting to her feet and finally showing some concern for her squad mate. 
“Squad leader, you are going too far!” Moblit chimes in, nervously raising his hands to do God knows what. Even though he’s her second in command, you’re usually the one that ends up stopping the crazy brunette. He’s far too careful to actually do something about her. It’s a wonder he hasn’t gotten a heart attack yet, always being in a near panic state.

You place one heavy hand on Hanji’s arm, giving her your most lethal glare. “I get that you’re mentally unstable and I’m aware that Auruo has the biggest mouth in the Survey Corps. But you’re hurting him. So let him go!” you say, your voice steely. Hanji’s manic expression turns into a pout before she scoffs and lets him go. Aurou falls on his butt with a yelp, drooling and foaming like a mad dog.

“Sorry, sorry,” your Squad leader says, her carefree manner back in place. Oh… how I want to slap her right now… You think.  Petra just stands there, seemingly not sure what to do with herself. You don’t blame her. “But you get my point, right?” Hanji asks, raising her hand in a short goodbye before stomping away. My God… You do care a lot about Hanji and she has your infinite respect, but sometimes, her craziness is just too much. “Squad leader!” Moblit calls out after her.
“Go make sure she doesn’t kill someone else,” you instruct him, crouching down beside Aurou. 
“Yes, right away!” And then he’s gone too.

Shit, I seriously almost died!” Auruo exclaims, rubbing his throat. “She’s definitely not sane, she has to be crazy…” he continues, narrowing his hazel eyes. “And you only just realize this now?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. Petra sighs, resting her hands on her hips and staring at Auruo. “You know, you are a member of the Survey Corps, so could you stop talking like that already?” She says, an annoyed look crossing her delicate features.
“Huh? Why do I get the lecture!?” Auruo asks, incredulous.
“Now, now, play nice you two…” you say, having witnessed enough fights for one day.
“Petra! Have you replenished the gas yet?” Erd’s voice suddenly cuts into your discussion.

Petra jumps like a frightened little animal, hurrying over to the gas container. “Y-yes Erd-san! In just a moment!” She answers. Meanwhile, you help Auruo to his feet, brushing off his cloak for him. “You still alive?” You ask. He nods, straightening his cravat a little. “Don’t worry, it still looks good,” you say with a wink.
“Did something happen?” Erd wants to know, striding towards you. You smile at him. 
“Ah, you know, the usual. Hanji trying to kill Auruo, me having to hit her across the head with my 3D maneuver gear, her fainting, Moblit carrying her to the medical team so they could humanely euthanize her…” You answer, shrugging. God knows I sometimes wish they would… “Ha ha!” Erd reaches forward to muss up your hair.
“H-hey! Stop that!” You shield your head with your arms and jump out of his reach. “Do you know what happens if you do that to a girl’s hair?” You ask, glaring at him. He chuckles, a fond smile playing on his lips. 
“Humor me,”
“It becomes this huge, untamable monster that eats your head and makes you look like Hanji performed some kind of sick experiment on you!” You exclaim, combing your fingers through your (h/c) locks.

Erd crosses his arms over his chest. “How fascinating…”
“Could you two stop that and just marry each other already?” Auruo asks, his usual condescending look once again gracing his features. “Marry this kid? No way,” Erd answers with a carefree laugh, towing you in to rub your head once again. 
Ha! In his dreams!” You sputter, squirming to get out of his strong grip.
“I’m done replenishing the gas now!” Petra suddenly interjects. Erd’s answer drowns in the sound of a flare gun going off. You all freeze. “The forest! They’re here!” Mike’s voice hollers from above you. 
“All hands! Prepare for combat!” Erwin’s voice soon follows.

The reaction is instant. Erd let’s you go, yelling for Petra and Auruo to get the gear ready. Your mind is bombarded with a hundred different thoughts, but one stands out in particular. Hanji! You take off running, down the stairs, following the path that leads to the outskirt of the village. You pass several soldiers on your way, all scurrying to their appointed tasks. You look up at the sky briefly, where the sun is shining and not a cloud is in sight. The weather is always so nice… you think, frowning.

Your thoughts are soon distracted by your black mare, currently being walked by Hans. “I was going to tie her somewhere saf-, what the heck are you doing?” He stares at you while you hoist yourself up in the saddle and snatch the reins from him. “I can’t let Hanji run off by herself!” You answer him, before spurring Dancer into a gallop. You figure that she’s still warm after the trip to the village. “I’ll come in your funeral!” Hans yells after you. “Thank you! I want white roses and a choir of young boys singing Ave Maria!” You yell back.

Then you suddenly hear Erwin’s voice up ahead. “Wait! Hanji!” Didn’t I know it… You see Moblit standing where Hanji’s horse must have been only seconds before, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Erwin looks like he’s not sure what to do, his lips forming a thin, colorless line. “I’ll go after her, Commander!” You shout as you pass him. Is it just you, or did his facial expression suddenly morph into one of pure panic? “(First Name)!” But you’re already heading down the path towards the forest, chasing Hanji like a dog chasing a cat.

                                                                              ***

Moblit watches as the Commander spins around. “Levi!” He orders, his voice laced with urgency. The Lance Corporal is already in the saddle, and with a sour “tch” he heads after the two women. I’m going to have a heart attack soon… Moblit thinks to himself, wiping some sweat off his forehead. Judging by the Commander’s deep frown, he’s not the only one…
Part 4 folks! :D This part mainly focuses on Reader-chans relationship with those around her (sort of). The next part will also follow the storyline of Ilse No techou ;) Hans and Marika are the OC's from my Christmas special, while Moblit is actually a character in Shingeki no Kyojin (I couldn't have made that name up cx). You can read about him here 

What do you guys think? Read and comment! I really hope you enjoyed this part as well, much more drama and romance and action is yet to come, I can promise you that :D Also, as you may have noticed, many of the lines in here are from the actual anime. I found two subbed versions of it, so some of the lines are from one version, some from the other and some are kind of a mix. I just picked whatever I thought sounded best ;) 

As always, do not hesitate to point out any errors or something you did not like, I don't bite (not hard at least cx). 

Part 4 (You are here :))


Shingeki no Kyojin and some of the dialogue belongs to Hajime Isayama

You belong to Erwin Smith (Plan Proposal) [V4]  (I never get tired of writing that Love)
© 2013 - 2024 Corona18
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drunkkyo's avatar
Fricking love this!